They say that love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener. Many couples say that you only truly get to know one another after the vows are said. Things that did not seem that important before then rear their ugly head, causing conflict and potentially divorce.
One of these is financial behavior. Some couples exhibit opposed views about money and managing it. Consequently, they might argue about finances. Here are some money issues that are among the most common marriage killers:
People have differing views of debt, most of them coming from how they were raised. Some are reluctant to go into debt, while others will do so without giving it much thought.
Sometimes debt is inevitable, especially during an emergency. Then you might need to get payday loans fast and settle them when you get your next paycheck. Personal Money Network gives users access to a variety of lenders offering payday loans and other financial products.
However, many people do not undertake going into debt unless it is necessary. They will enter debt agreements to finance purchases that could have waited until they saved enough money. Being saddled with debts based on a spouse’s reckless decision-making leads to severe stress and tension in a marriage.
Before getting married, a couple should discuss their financial plans. For instance, some couples split the bills and spend whatever they have remaining as they wish.
Others prefer to take responsibility for specific debts, such as the mortgage, while their spouse pays the utilities and groceries. Yet other couples decide to pool their resources, paying the bills and deciding jointly on how to spend what is left in their account.
Bill splitting works for many couples, but it hampers their ability to make long-term financial goals, such as buying a home or planning for retirement. It can also lead to financial infidelity, where one partner hides money from the other.
Additionally, there is no planning for eventualities, such as one spouse losing their job or choosing to leave work to look after the children.
If you were raised in a home where money was never wasted, no matter how much there was, it would become challenging to live with someone who spends freely and is careless about money. If this is the situation you find yourself in, communication and compromise are essential to avoid conflict.
You might need to loosen up a little while your partner should learn how to act with more restraint. These are vital life lessons for each one. Take the best of what each spouse learned about spending behavior growing up and mold it into a new set of spending guidelines you will both follow.
Without consensus on spending behavior, you create a space for arguing and dissension, where one spouse may feel resentful toward the other.
When one spouse uses money as a source of power over the other, it creates a toxic dynamic in their relationship. This usually happens when one works while the other does not. The breadwinner might use the fact that they work and contribute to the household financially to make the other feel worthless. They might also withhold funds from their spouse as a means of control.
This behavior is called financial abuse and opens a door for other forms of abuse to follow. If your spouse behaves this way, it is advisable to sit down for an open conversation about the situation and how it makes you feel.
Your partner might not even be aware of their behavior, so communication is important to resolve the issue before it becomes a long-term problem.